Sexual relations and dating

If you are having trouble communicating with your partner about sex, this is a sign that the relationship will be troubled in many other areas as well.

You'd have to live under a rock not to know that when it comes to sex, there has traditionally been a double standard: At least these are the images the media would like us to believe, and unfortunately, many people still do.

Before you jump into a sexual relationship, you need to consider how these preconceptions will affect you and your relationship.

Talking to your date about sex before things get too hot may go a long way toward ensuring your first encounter ends on a positive note.

At some point, sex becomes an issue in any new dating relationship; it's really just a question of when. Everyone seems to have an opinion, from doctors and psychologists, to parents and clergy, to friends and passersby.

But the only two people in the world who know when the time is right are the two people who are dating, and even then the decision is still a tricky one.

Likewise, the sexual ethic of the “neighbor relationship” is detailed in 1 Corinthians 7:9 and 1 Timothy 5:2—namely, that sexual activity is prohibited.

We go into this in more detail in the book, but the crucial observation here is that .

A main problem with contemporary dating relationships is that they tend to grant license to sexual activity that we would otherwise intuitively deem inappropriate. In our book, we argue that a dating relationship is really just a subset of the neighbor relationship, and thus must be governed by its sexual guidelines.

The Levitical sexual codes (Leviticus 18) clearly prohibit sexual relationships between blood relatives.

And all throughout Scriptures (Proverbs, Song of Songs, 1 Corinthians 7) we see that sexual relations within marriage are not only permissible, but commanded.

According to the singles whom Allen has encountered, boomers generally play by far different dating rules than young, 20-something daters.

"I spoke with a young man in his early to mid-20s who told me that if he didn't have sex on the first or second night, he'd move on to the next person," she recalls.

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